you do not deserve this, whether it is bad or not. you deserve none of it. have you googled for places that you could maybe go? i know it is hard to leave but when you get the strength don't talk yourself out of it. you deserve someone to love and care for you. you can message me if you need someone to talk to. or you don't have to. the point is-do what is best for you-what you want to do, baby. it's your choice.

I cant leave, Im kind of stuck here. I have one person I trust, but when its time to hang up the phone..or not be in her office, I have to realize I have to go back to that house. I know im not being held here with a gun to my head, but if I leave, I worry what will happen.
anyway, writing this helped....thank you for the support <3

you are welcome. i understand, not completely, but i don't judge you for staying. sometimes you just can't leave. i am here for you when you need me.

Oh honey, my heart aches for you. If you are able, tell someone you can trust. If you can't leave on your own, at least get someone to help you until you can get away. The problem with abusers, they won't stop until the lights are turned on and they have to face what they are doing. Usually it's only by them knowing that their secret is not a secret anymore (other people know). I equate them to cockroaches, they run around in the dark and hide when the lights are turned on. You are the light, you are the light. If you don't expose this, they will hurt someone else too. Please let me know how you are doing on finding someone to help you.